How can this be? 74.) How many horses does it take to build a barn?None, as they dont have hands. Where do horses live. 35.) He asks the horse's owner, "Why would you want to sell this fantastic animal?". Its also a sport where brilliant jokes are formed, and weve compiled a list of the finest horse racing jokes for your enjoyment! Heres a collection of hilarious horse jokes for kids with puns that you and your family can enjoy. A: He was a disk jockey from Filly. This section holds lots of jokes so kids can expand their sense of humor and creative thinking. 9.) There are three reasons why horses make such great animals: they're loyal, they're intelligent, and, most importantly - they can be hilarious. Where do horses go when they hurt themselves? A. Did you hear what happened to the best horse racer of all time? Now, onto some more horse jokes! How do you save a horse possessed by an evil spirit?Perform an ex-horse-ism. This is the best collection of Clean Horse Jokes that youll find anywhere. How do you make a small fortune on horse racing?Start with a large fortune.What kind of food do race horses like to eat?Fast food.Whats similar between a racehorse and a leaky faucet?Theyre both off and running.Theres only one time vampires like watching a horse race.When its neck and neck.A racehorse once smoked some weed just before the race was about to start.Once it started, the jockey couldnt control it as it veered off track. Why is Dick Whittington a horses favourite panto?Because he was mare of London.Why did the horses always miss the support acts at gigs?They are only interested in the mane attraction.Is Nelson Mandela popular amongst horses?Not as much as his wife, Winnie.Why do horses queue up so badly?Theyre always jockeying for position.Did you hear the joke about the horse that was hobbled?Its a bit lame.Which seats do horses book at the theatre?Anywhere in the stalls.How do hip young horses casually greet each other?Hay.What boxing technique does a horse prefer?The pommel.Did you hear about the horse that doubted everything?He was a neighsayer.What did the Italian horse say when he heard there was a speed between trot and gallop?I canter believe it!What do horses see right before it thunders?Lightning colts!A horse walks into a bar.Hey, says the bartender.The horse neighs excitedly and says, My friend, you read my mind!Youre being chased by a Lion, youre on a horse to the left of you is a Giraffe and on the right a unicorn what do you do?You stop drinking and get off the Carousel.Why did the horse run away in the middle of its wedding?It got colt feet! 58.) A. 76.) Where do horses live? Why do cowboys ride horses?Because horses are too heavy to carry! Answer: The horses shadow. As a trained teacher and now private tutor, I help children learn math every day, and I use this blog to share some tips and tricks with parents like you. Are you looking for horse jokes for kids with puns? Why did the horse cross the road?Because somebody shouted Hey!. Q: When does a horse go to sleep at night? A: I can't take your order. Ok then. Q: What show was the horse actor appearing in? 24.) Check out these fun links. 42.) This blog is brought to you by Diagnostic Imaging Systems. What did the horse say after it fell? Share it with us in the comments below! 51.) They have a real colt following! 66.) What kind of horse is the fastest?A pregnant one, because it has 2 horsepower. Required fields are marked *, You need to agree with the terms to proceed. Why did the man stand behind the horse?He was hoping to get a kick out of it. What did the waiter say to the horse?Can I get you a stable? She was horsing around! What happens when a horse forgets its umbrella? A horse walks into a bar. Q: Which kind of horse likes to eat baked beans? 84.) Find out the funny answer in today's jokes! Here are 45 funny Minecraft jokes and the best Minecraft puns to crack you up. Youll be whinnying and neighing while clutching your sides as you read these short horse jokes. How long should a horses legs be?Long enough to reach the ground. Diagnostic Imaging Systems, Inc. (DIS) has been providing Quality Imaging products since 1983. Knock Knock Knock. Whats the difference between a horse and the weather?One reigns up and one rains down! What do you call a horse that lives next door? The barman confuses idioms with jokes and offers him a glass of water, but can't make him drink. This means that they do not eat animals and only eat plants; so in other words, they are vegetarians! The relentless poop-producers, the . Have you watched the newest scary movie about horses? A: He thought it would make it softer to ride on. This. Thats not a lion thats a horse. You may even find that some of them will have you laughing out loud. What is a horses favorite sport? Whyd ya kiss your horse on the ass before coming in? We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. These funny horse jokes can be a great part of family activity for any gathering! Here weve compiled a list of some of our favorite horse jokes one liners. 13.) Archive for the 'horses' Category. Horses can sleep standing up or lying down. Neigh-braska Horses living in Neigh-braska are lucky. A: A sawhorse. Unfortunately, with most jokes, the setup and punchline are generally quite obvious. A: A buck. The vet said, Yes, of course and I think you will probably win. Shows. What kind of food do racehorses like to eat? They move from place to place in search of shelter, vegetation, and adequate water. A: They age. He tried to quit colt turkey, but it didnt work. Want more animal jokes? Why did the horse run away in the middle of its wedding?It got colt feet! (In a whisper), your neigh-bor. The sound a horse makes is neigh which is part of the word neighborhood. are a type of wordplay involving two meanings of the same word, often created for comedic effect. Who isnt an upside-down horseshoe good luck for?The horse who lost it! EXPLANATION: The sound a horse makes is neigh, which is part of the word neighborhood. What kind of bread does a horse eat?Thoroughbred. 3. Race it, replies the jockey, surprised. You got shit all over your lips! The cowboy, cool as can be, takes a stiff drink before answering. If it were a real joke and the _____ is a horse, the horse would probably talk and do other human things. 157 Dirty Minded Jokes That Will Bring Out Your Naughty Side, 145 Short Dirty Jokes That Bring More Adult Humor, 155 Best Wedding Jokes to Kick off Your Speech, 160 Hilarious Wife Jokes to Spark Joy in Your Marriage, 150 Hilarious Train Jokes to Engineer Laughs on Your Face, 150 Hilarious Tree Jokes to Fresh Your Mind, 152 Hilarious Wine Jokes to Make Conversation More Enjoyable, 151 Hilarious Tomato Jokes That Are So Juicy. A: You cant use it until its been broken. He got knocked off his high horse. 4.) Hay fever. It got colt feet! Q: Why didnt the stallion show up for his wedding? A Sherbet! 29.) A: They both hold the reins. Do you love all things punny? A: It bucked. These jokes about horses are great horse jokes for kids and adults. "Yes please," says the horse. In neigh-borhoods. 19.) Stable tennis. These 35 horse puns will make you whinny and neigh while you clutch your sides. A colt shower! Q. That is something that normal people do not do. A bunch of ponies were foaling around in a classroom. Thanks for going along for the ride with us! What kind of food do competitive horse races like to eat?Fast food. Knock Knock.Whos there?Quiet horse.Quiet horse, who? 4. 48.) A: Stable. You don't have to be an equestrian to get a good chuckle from these jokes. Being an equestrian may be quite amusing at times. What do horses say when their food gets stolen?Hay come back! Q. Why dont you look a gimp horse in the mouth? The pastor explains, to make the horse go, you gotta yell, Thank God! And to make it stop, yell, Hallelujah. The cowboy rides off. It gives you a bunch of short horse jokes for kids that you can use at home with the family or on those long car journeys. A. My neighbor has a horse that has an explosive pace. Some of your non-horsey friends may become bored hearing about your latest tack buy, so tell them a funny joke, preferably a horse joke! What did the waiter say to the horse?I cant take your order. The daddy balloon constantly told the kid balloon not to do this as it was disrupting his sleep schedule.But as the kid got older and older he began not to fit. A talking horse walks into a bar and approaches the manager. Youll enjoy these top-notch horse jokes if youre an equestrian! How is this possible? All; Latest Episodes; Fiction; Non-fiction; Kids; Gimlet. Why wouldnt the pony stay up pasture bedtime? The same can be said for horseback riding, no matter which riding style you are performing. What does it mean if you find a horseshoe?Some poor horse is walking around in his socks. What do you call a horse with two legs?A horse without two legs. EXPLANATION: The sound a horse makes is "neigh", which is part of the word "neighborhood". Riddle: A pig lives in a pig farm, a cow lives in a cow farm, a sheep lives in a sheep farm, a chiken lives in a chiken farm. One day, a boy and his best friend were telling jokes to one another. A: The outside. What kind of dog has a bark but no bite. ), 67 Funniest Football Jokes to Kick It Off with Your Friends. Hallelujah The horse grinds to a stop just at the edge of the cliff. His life coach told him to get off his high horse. That is because most jokes are play-on-words, or they are funny because a word in the joke might have two meanings, or the word could be a homonym. Did you hear about the horse with the negative altitude?She always said, Neigh.. These jokes about moose are great moose jokes for kids and adults. How does a horse from Kentucky greet another horse. Need help? A: With cough stirrup. Horses live in every region of the world except Antarctica and the northern Arctic regions of North America, Europe and Asia. Years later, I joined the mounted police force in New York and helped keep the city clean. A: Neighbraska. Q: Which horse is an advocate for horse safety? These funny horse jokes are sure to make you and your pals laugh out loud! Q: What did the waiter say to the horse? The bartender says, Hey., The horse says, Buddyyou read my mind!. Horses can sleep both lying down and standing up. Horses that have been tamed usually live to be around 25 years old. Q: How is an egg like a young horse? So, why not encourage your childs love of joke-telling, and make it an educational experience at the same time?! A: The psycho-path. our entire collection of funny animal jokes, 14 hilarious pun cartoons that never get old, unfunny anti-jokes that youll still laugh at anyway, Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. Here are 75 funny moose jokes and the best moose puns to crack you up. "I thought you were going to take that horse to the farm!". Some wild horses remain, but most are domestic animals used by humans for a variety of reasons. 2020 LIVIN3. Yes please, says the horse.Hey, a one horse open sleigh isnt the only fun thing to ride.If you are a horse, you will always be my first pick.I call my son Seabiscuit because all he does is horse around.Those things they put in horses mouths do they hurt?A bit.Horses can run smoothly on a frozen racecourse But not furlong.How do horses cast their vote?By saying yay or neigh!Youll never find a horse using an Android phone.They only like Apples.What do you say to a horse after it loses a bet?Pony up!Where do horses love to shop?Old Neigh-vy. Most horses are domesticated which means they live alongside humans. A horse walks into a bar. Help Ive fallen and I cant giddy up. Cheer up with these food jokes that everyone will find funny. Shows. Do you know the hardest part about horse racing? What do you do?Get off the carousel and sober up.What did the mother horse say to the foal who stayed up too late?Its pasture bedtime!How much money does a bronco have?A buck.Have you heard the one about the runaway horse?Its a terrible tale of WHOA!Why dont horses like being promoted?They hate being saddled with extra responsibility.When does a horse get depressed by the weather?When it reins.What kind of bread does a horse eat?Thoroughbred.What do you use to make a horse change gear?A canter-lever.What is a horses favorite sport?Stable tennis.What kind of horse travels all around the world?A globe trotter.When do horses always stand to attention?Whenever you play the Grand National Anthem.Whats the hardest thing about learning to horseback ride?The ground.How do you get a jockey to wait a moment?Tell him to hold his horses! Cheer up with these food jokes that everyone will find funny. There was a government-employed doctor in our area who was half man and half horse. What happens if there is a close finish in a horse race? What do you call a horse thats good at riding? Answer: On a ranch. 55.) Where do horses live in a city? The police horse goes Neigh-naw-neigh-naw-neigh-naw.Why do most horses look so fit?Because theyre on a stable diet.What do you call a horse thats not wearing a saddle?Neigh-ked!What street do horses like to live on?Main Street.Why couldnt the pony sing?Because he was a little hoarse.Which opinion poll do horses put most faith in?Gallup.How does a horse from Kentucky greet another horse? How do you make a small fortune on horse racing? Whats the difference between a Western horse and an Eastern horse?About 2,000 miles. A: Ralph Neigh-der. There are lots of jokes available online, but if youre looking for a collection of the best ones, youve come to the right place. I heard it from my brother The other boy was curious so he agreed and said yes. joke, First things first: We love horses. If you need a pick-me-up or a little laughter, these 55 horse jokes should do just the trick! The doctor described his condition as stable. However, that doesn't mean that us equine enthusiasts don't like to laugh from time to time. Why didnt the mare like reading funny horse puns on the internet? Good animal jokes are hard to come by, but we've collected our favourites here to get you howling . Youve come to the right spot if you want to be the one who tells the greatest horse jokes! Q. Whats the favorite part of a horse race for a vampire? A: Whinny wants to. Horses, the flawless, majestic beasts whose hoofbeats match the beats of your heart, whose flowy manes remind you of your warmest dreams, with noble eyes that peer right into your soul. Every time you hear one of these jokes, youll be spinning around like a wild horse! Perfect for kids! Q: Why did the horse play his music so loud? (Yes, we can make as many stable jokes as you wish!). Which side of a horse has more hair? A. Q: How do you save a horse possessed by an evil spirit? Switch your brushing to the other side of the top of your mouth and brush the molars in the back too. 79.) Why don't you try the circus?" The horse nickers. With Southern Horspitality.Why are young horses often in trouble?They cant stop foaling around.What disease are horses most scared of getting?Hay fever.What do you call a truly international horse?A globe-trotter.Where do horses go if they need to have an operation?The horse-pital.100 years ago everyone owned horsesAnd only the rich owned carsNow everyone has a car,and only the rich own horsesThe stables have turnedThat horse is so spontaneous.It always does things in the spur of the moment! Q: Which US state do horses like to go for vacation? Because they dont fit on a ironing board. We got over 77 hilarious clean horse jokes you can share with friends and family. Who is in charge of horse town?The mare (mayor). Its a cult classic! Find out the funny answer in today's jokes. Where do horses live in Harry Potter. They have a good time and before he realizes it the 24. What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse. If your family lives with animals, you all know just how funny they can be. Horsing around - Mischievous little horses like horsing around. If you have kids and they have a sense of humor, these Clean Horse Jokes for Kids will make their day. Here are 50 funny carrot jokes and the best carrot puns to crack you up. 26.) 11.) Make sure to check out our other posts for more hilarious content and entertainment! They will always take offense! From pig puns to whale wisecracks, there's definitely at least one joke on this list that will make your child literally laugh out loud. A: Perform an exhorsist. They will laugh from the depth of their heart. Q: What did the waiter say to the horse? The second dog replies with Thats nothing, Ive won fourteen of my last twenty races. Where do horses live in a city? Girls who have horses have zero time for much life outside of taking care of the horse. 23 funny horse jokes to enjoy 1. 40.) Why did the pony have to gargle?Because it was a little hoarse. Q: Which type of race horses are the deepest thinkers? Copyright 2023 O-hand.com. of their day. Stable tennis. A: To get to the bale of hay. Horsp who?Did you just say horse poo?, 97.) Q: Why did the man stand behind the horse? I put a bet on a horse to come in at 10 to one and it did. Factors on lifespan of E. caballus include: nutrition, activity, number of reproduction cycles, reproductive status, disease, dental health, and physical activity. Of water, but can & # x27 ; s jokes domesticated Which means they live alongside.... Encourage your childs love of joke-telling, and make it an educational experience at the of... Quot ; Yes please, & quot ; the horse? can I get you a stable horse Kentucky! 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